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From a young age, we’re surrounding by Franklin the Turtle or Little Bear, Land Before Time and Big Comfy Couch, PB & J Otter or Bear in the Big Blue House. Most of these have messages that teach kids how to be pleasant members of society – to share, to help around the house, treat others how you want to be treated, but the one I want to talk about is forgiveness. Not the kind about forgiving others, but forgiving yourself. Personally, I struggle with it constantly – and about the smallest things, too. Guilt for not going to the gym, guilt for not studying, guilt for staying up too late or over sleeping. Guilt for that one time in seventh grade I jokingly called my best friend stupid, guilt for when I put soap on my sister’s toothbrush, or guilt for the time I broke my dad’s Packers nutcracker when I was five. Oh yes, I remember all of these things. Now don’t get me wrong, guilt is healthy. If it wasn’t for guilt, the world would be pretty rampant with all kinds of bad things. What’s unhealthy is holding onto guilt – letting this emotion persist for weeks, months, or years. Being able to forgive yourself is like setting yourself free. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth a try. Next time you’re facing the bondage of guilt, try these steps:
Start with centering your mind and breathing deep – deep enough that you feel your chest expand and take it all in.
Recognize that you are flawed – beautifully flawed. We all are. It’s part of what makes us human. We make mistakes, we learn from them, we grow, we move on.
Identify what it is that you’re struggling with, where you feel you went wrong, and what it was that led you to make your decision.
Understand that your feelings of guilt are valid, but so is your desire to move forward.
Now’s here the hard part.
Let go. Accept yourself and accept that there is nothing you can do to change the past, only to better your future. You deserve the chance to rid yourself of these chains and start anew. You deserve forgiveness.
There is beauty in learning from your mistakes – it gives you room to grow and better yourself. You are deserving and worthy of good things and your own freedom.
All My Best,
Jacquelyn
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