Change Can Be Scary!

If you know me, you know flexibility has never been my strong suit. In fact, when interviewers ask the infamous question, “What’s your biggest weakness?”, I usually answer, “I struggle with flexibility and changing plans at the last minute”. I have a very type-A personality and I plan religiously. To-do lists, planners, goals, and schedules bring order and control to my life. So when things change or don’t go according to my plan, it can be hard to adjust. In the words of the amazing Lorelai Gilmore “I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible!”  

Speaking of my favorite fictional characters… if you know me, you also know I love movies! And the other day I was watching Barbie again (If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re missing out! It is an incredible film!) and there was a scene that really hit me. It’s towards the climax of the movie and Barbie is upset and crying to Gloria, and she says, “I never wanted anything to change.” And Gloria says, “Oh, honey. That’s life. It’s all change.” To which Barbie responds, “That’s terrifying.” And even though I had seen the movie before, when I watched this scene again, it was like a punch in my gut. I felt exactly like Barbie; scared to death of change. In the movie, she wakes up in the same bed, makes the same breakfast, hangs out with the same friends, every single day. There’s consistency and routine. I value those things in my life, too. But I realized, Gloria is right; life is nothing but change. 

I’m about to be a senior and I will experience SO many different changes at once. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t terrify me. I’ve had to learn to accept that change is inevitable. But, more importantly, change is not always a bad thing! In one short year, I will move to a new city, start a new job, and figure out what I want to do with my life. I’ll be an actual adult… how scary is that! But as scary, intimidating, and unknown that next chapter of my life will be, it will also be beautiful! I get to make new relationships, establish myself in a career, and learn more about who I am and who I want to be! It will be a season of change, but that also means it will be a season of growth! Think about that. A life without change would be so sad. Nothing changes if nothing changes. And as cheesy as that sounds, its true. 

But as I said, I’m not the best at accepting change. So what are some ways we can cope with change? 

1) Reframe your thinking! Like I mentioned earlier, it is important to recognize that change isn’t always a bad thing. Try to reframe your mindset to look at change as an opportunity rather than a setback. If we can do this, we can begin embracing change rather than running from it. 

2) Lean on your support system! Change is hard! But that doesn’t mean we have to figure it out alone. Lean on your support system when things get hard. Talk with a group of friends, your family members, or significant others when you are getting overwhelmed. While the things around you may be changing, your relationships can still remain constant and can be a source of joy in your life. 

3) Look for new opportunities! Its okay to mourn the loss that change brings. For example, when I leave college and start a new job. There will be a lot of things I’m losing, like living 3 seconds from my best friends or participating in fun extracurriculars. And it’s okay to be upset about losing those things. But I also am so excited to see what new opportunities await me post-graduation. With no more school work, scholarship requirements, and extra commitments taking up my time, I will have free time to try new things! For example, I danced growing up and it was a huge passion of mine. But, I haven’t danced since high school and I miss it so much. Wherever I end up post-grad, I would love to find a dance class so I can continue that passion and keep my body active! So whatever your change brings, look towards the new opportunities it presents rather than the things it takes away from you! 

4) Keep some sort of stability in your life! Change can throw off your groove or sense of stability, and that can be difficult to cope with. But maintaining normalcy is important. Look for areas in your life where you can maintain a stable routine to help you cope with change. For example, keeping up a consistent get-ready routine in the morning or wind-down routine at night can help start or end your days in the same way. Setting normal routines like this can help lend stability even when things around you may feel like they’re always changing. 

In the end, Barbie learns to lean into the changes around her, rather than running from it. She and the other Barbies make peace with the Kens and learn to adapt and grow together. And (movie spoiler ahead!!) Barbie embraces the scariest change of all and chooses to become human!  

As silly as this example may seem, we can learn a lot from Barbie! Change is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it has to be scary. I hope you learn how to take the changes life throws your way and use them as opportunities for growth, learning, and self-discovery!  

-Mollie Martin