The Power of “And”

Growing up, I was always the kid who wanted to try everything. My parents would literally have to tell me that I could only choose 1 or 2 summer camps, that it just wasn’t feasible for me to learn how to dance, paint, play tennis, and do a community theater production all in one summer.

As I got older, this desire to be a part of everything manifested itself in my extracurriculars in high school. By senior year, I was in everything I could physically be a part of. I was in a ton of clubs, I danced competitively, I was in my school’s theatre productions, I worked part-time at a counseling center, and the list goes on. I did all of these things because I genuinely loved them and I couldn’t see myself as just one thing. In my eyes I was a dancer, an actor, a volunteer, a scholar, a club president, and more.

While I loved all of the things I was a part of, I did get extremely burnt out. So my freshman year, when I came to Berry, I decided I would wait a while and find my feet before I started jumping in to all these extra things. And I stuck to that goal. Aside from my scholarship and assigned campus job, I didn’t have any extra commitments weighing me down. I could explore campus, make new friends, and devote more time to my studies, which was great.

So, by the end of freshman year, I decided I was ready to try new things and get more involved. I applied for a position as a peer educator, and got it! I applied to be a class coordinator for my scholarship group, and got that too! And in the beginning of sophomore year, I joined the speech and debate team (aka forensics).

So sophomore year rolls around and suddenly I’m busy. And I was back in the same position. I loved everything I was a part of. But, I began feeling guilty. I am a Biology major with a concentration in Wildlife, Ecology, and Conservation. And after leaving a meeting with my advisor, I began to guilt trip myself. None of the groups or activities I was a part of had anything to do with my major or career aspirations. I began to spiral into negative thinking. “I’m wasting my time,” I thought. “I should be spending more time studying and getting a campus job related to my field so that it will look better on my resume. I shouldn’t be spending my time on things that don’t matter.”

But after talking to my therapist and thinking more about it, I realized I was putting myself in a box. I realized the power of “and”. I am not simply a biology major. I am a biology major AND I am passionate about mental health. I am a biology major AND I love public speaking and competing in forensics tournaments. I am a biology major AND I love getting to mentor classes below me. I am a mix of all these things. I realized that while I love my major, and I want to do well in my classes so I can get a good job after graduation, that doesn’t mean my extra commitments aren’t important. I’m passionate about many things, and while these commitments may not directly correlate to my career field, the skills I gain and relationships I foster are extremely beneficial and will stay with me for years to come.

Later sophomore year, the power of “and” showed up again in my life, but in a different way. I got a summer internship as a zookeeper intern at a zoo in Lincoln, Nebraska! I was SO excited! As an aspiring zookeeper, this was a dream come true. But, the closer the time came for me to leave for Nebraska, the more mixed emotions I felt. I realized that while going to Nebraska meant chasing my dreams and wonderful opportunities, it also meant I would be alone in a new place, in the middle of the country, for 3 months. And that terrified me. Talking to my mom one day on the phone, I told her, “I am super excited, but I’m really scared.” To which she responded, “You are super nervous AND super scared. It’s okay to be both.” And that helped me realize that my mix of strong emotions could coexist and that’s okay. I was excited AND scared AND grateful AND anxious AND proud AND hopeful AND nervous all at the same time. I realized I can feel all those emotions fully and it would be okay. I didn’t have to hone in on just one. My summer in Nebraska turned out to be so fulfilling, fun, and insanely cool. I felt all those emotions at one point or another during my time there and learned that it was okay.

The word “and” holds more power than we realize. We are so quick to put ourselves in boxes and only allow ourselves to be, think, or feel one thing. Reflect on your life and think of where you could use some “and” power. As humans, we are multi-faceted. We are so much more than our major, or current mood, or job title, or whatever you feel defines you. You are more AND you deserve to be more.

Written by Mollie Martin