The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

You are not alone if you feel torn between wanting to go home for the holidays and dreading the inevitable difficulties of re-adjusting to being home. One the first day of being home, you can catch me cheerily baking cookies in the kitchen, singing along to Christmas music while mentally planning out my Hallmark movie schedule. By day five, I’m pondering throwing my bag in the car and hauling it back to Berry. Jokes aside, adjusting to being home again is no easy task. Winter break is a much needed time of rest, and can be a time of joy and peace, but it isn’t always. Expectations, stress, and neglecting self-care can all contribute to making the holidays wildly stressful instead of filled with magic. Luckily, by understanding what makes the season difficult, you can avoid some of the stress and get back to enjoying your time of rest and celebration.

What makes going back home so difficult? In a word, change. Any variation of change brings a little bit of stress, but this change can be especially difficult because you are going from more freedom and control to less by being back under someone else’s roof. Not to worry, by taking a little extra care, you can be prepared to enjoy that break!

Manage Expectations:

Your own, and that of your family. A major source of conflict is differing expectations. You want to binge watch a new series and visit hometown friends, but your mom expects you to pick up some extra chores and go visit Grandma. You’re going to run into some issues if you don’t understand what your family expects from you. Near the beginning of the break, ask your family what things are important to them for you to participate in, and then share your own intentions for how you will spend your time. By planning these things ahead of time, you can avoid surprise conflicts.

That being said, living back at home means that you aren’t flying solo anymore. Your schedule impacts other people, so it’s important to realize that you may not have as much freedom over your time as you did at school. Realizing this can help avoid disappointment later on. It’s also a good time to mention that the holiday season comes with lots of expectations about how it should be peaceful, joyful, magical, and full of warmth. I hope it is for you, but the truth is that just because December rolls around doesn’t mean that family strife finally ends, your mental health improves, and all is well in the world. Give yourself permission to feel difficult feelings, and remind yourself that you aren’t alone in your struggles. Loneliness and sadness are common around the holidays for a number of reasons. Truthfully, the holidays can be tough, even if that side of the season gets glossed over in the Christmas songs.

Combat Extra Stress with Self-Care

For many people, winter break comes along with plenty to celebrate. Whether it’s Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or just visiting with your family, there’s no shortage of activity. Baking, traveling, shopping, hosting, the list goes on. All of these activities can add extra stress to your life. In addition to daily stressors, the holidays can make us more aware of the parts of our lives that feel missing or incomplete. It can make us miss our estranged family members and loved ones who have passed away.

With these extra stressors, it is especially important to take care of yourself. Going home usually throws off our usual routines which can cause us to feel less in control and less grounded. Picking a few things you want to do on the regular can make a big difference in establishing some consistency. For example, going to sleep around a similar hour each night and/or starting your day with a good breakfast can be a major help to your mental and physical health. Try making a list of three things you like to do (or want to try) to make yourself feel better. Start incorporating them into your life on a regular basis to ensure that you are supporting your mental health in the way you deserve. Here’s a list of some of my favorite self-care activities:

What works for me is blocking out the time on my calendar that I plan to do these activities so that I can prioritize them in my schedule. Experiment to see what works for you and what activities are helpful for managing your unique stress.

In short, winter break is a much needed time off of school that can help you relax from school work and enjoy time with loved ones. Use it to your advantage, and practice taking care of yourself. Try that new hobby you never quite had time for. Go visit that friend or relative who you’ve been meaning to call. Give your family some extra love while you’re home; one day you may not be so close to home. No matter how to decide to use it, remember that winter break is ultimately another set of days. It’s okay to struggle amidst the lights and music. Think about your expectations and communicate them with your family. Prioritize taking care of yourself to reduce the effects of extra stress. Adjusting to being home isn’t easy, but it is possible. When all else fails, try practicing a little self-compassion. When things feel hard, be kind to yourself and remember that it’s okay to experience negative emotions. I hope you enjoy your break and celebrate all of your accomplishments. You deserve a time of rest and well-being, and it’s up to you to help create that through prioritizing your mental health.

Bonus tip: If you need a boost of happiness to combat the winter blues, try doing something kind for someone else. It’s not just holiday cheesiness. Helping others is shown to improve mood and various measures of wellbeing. It’s science!

Post by Callie Whitesell