See You Tomorrow

Warning: This blog contains material about suicide which may be triggering to some readers.

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly. The moment you’re ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens. Don’t give up”

Suicide: it’s not something people like to talk about, but it’s not something that should be ignored. Oftentimes, there is such a negative stigma surrounding suicide that those who are experiencing suicidal thoughts feel afraid to open up, and those who notice others struggling are afraid to have the hard conversations. However, there should be no stigma in talking about suicide, especially because it could potentially save lives. Since this month is National Suicide Prevention month, there’s no better time than the present to have this difficult conversation.

Chances are that you, someone you love, your school, or even community has been affected by suicide. In fact, one suicide can affect up to 135 people. Personally, during my senior year of high school, a girl who had gone to my school for a couple years ended her own life. I still remember how gloomy school was the next day, how many students stayed home from school, how quiet everyone was. Though I didn’t know her personally, I felt extremely saddened by her loss and I could see the immense effects it had on my school and community. This was when I became passionate about suicide prevention and awareness. In order to facilitate conversation, I want to provide you with some information about suicide and what you can do to help.

First, I’d like to talk about some of the misconceptions surrounding suicide and why these misconceptions are harmful. Suicide is often thought of as a choice, when in reality, it is the opposite. Those who take their own life see it as the only choice they have to escape their pain and suffering. Seeing suicide as a choice can make those having suicidal thoughts feel weak for being unable to control the thoughts they are experiencing. Another misconception is that suicide is a selfish act. People often say this as an attempt to shift the guilt or blame from those mourning to the one who died. It may also be said as a way to avoid thinking about the real reasons why someone might take their own life. This last misconception I want to discuss is that suicide occurs suddenly and without warning. Warning signs precede most suicides, so it’s important to learn and understand these signals.

Suicide catches everyone’s attention, but unfortunately it is often the actions and warning signs leading up to it that go unnoticed. In order to have healthy conversations about suicide, we must first know what to look for. These warning signs include…

1. Talk: if a person talks about… killing themselves, being a burden to others, having no reason to live, feeling trapped or hopeless, unbearable pain

2. Behavior: behaviors that may signal risk… increased use of drugs or alcohol, looking for a way to end their life, withdrawing from activities, isolating from family and friends, visiting or calling people to say goodbye, giving away prized possessions

3. Mood: displaying one or more of the following moods… depression, loss of interest, anxiety, irritability, shame, agitation, relief/sudden improvement

The more aware we are of these signs and the quicker we are to spot them, the more enabled we will be to give love, help, and support to those who need it.

What can you do if you notice any of these signs? First, assume that you are the only one who is noticing. Be the one to ask. Make sure you do it privately, and the most important thing you can do is listen. Be careful not to minimize their problems or debate the value of life. Encourage them to seek out treatment and help, making sure they know that you are there for them. Know that this is not a one time conversation and you should keep checking in and supporting them for as long as it takes. What if you are still uncomfortable with having that conversation or are scared that you will say the wrong thing? There are plenty of ways to check on someone without being so confrontational; some are more direct, while others are ways to open the door to interaction. Here are some easy ways to show someone that you are there for them: share something that made you think of them, ask them if you can help them with anything, tell them you miss them, share a piece of news they may be interested in, ask if they’re free for coffee, send a photo you love, tag them in something on social media, acknowledge their strength, wish them a good day, share what they mean to you, ask if they want to watch a movie with you, tell them you can’t wait to see them, thank them for being here, send them a GIF, give them a phone call, and tell them how much you love them.

Reaching out can save lives. We often assume that talking about suicide will lead to and encourage suicide, when in fact it is the opposite. When we talk about suicide, we are reducing the stigma surrounding it and empowering those who are struggling to reach out for help. So, my name is Hope and I want to talk about suicide.

If you or someone you know is struggling, here are some resources that may be helpful…

The Berry College Counseling Center: 706.236.2259

Natl. Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1.800.273.8255 or text “start” to 741.741

Campus Police: 706.236.2262

Written by Hope Huetter