My Healthy Break-Up With Social Media

Social media, it’s not you. It’s me.

There are 3.5 billion social media users worldwide, and this number is only continuing to grow by the day. American millennials spend more than three and a half hours on their phones each day, and the majority of this time for most is spent on social media. This reality never ceases to surprise me. Even more surprising – I am not among the 3.5 billion people who use social media platforms.

“What’s your Insta?”

This is a question I frequently come across, especially in college. Many people my age never think twice about their response to this modern phrase, freely handing out their username, readily accepting a new follower, a new friend.

For me, though, it goes a bit differently. I do not have any social media, but it hasn’t always been this way. I made the decision to delete my social media accounts the summer before I came to college. It all started with a music festival I attended that summer. I was with my best friends, and it was supposed to be an experience I would never forget. My three very favorite bands in the world were playing! I had some of my very favorite people by my side! And it was summer! What could possibly go wrong?

I didn’t see it in the moment, but after getting home from the festival, I realized that my friends and I had spent practically the entire day making every attempt to capture the perfect pictures to share with all of our friends and followers. I hardly had any concrete memories of what should have been the most important parts of the whole experience – the music, and the great memories I should have been making with my friends! Instead, it was like I had spent the day at a loud and crowded photoshoot. There were plenty of pictures to prove that I was there, but without those pictures, I had nothing of any real value to look back on. Going to concerts has always been and always will be something that makes me incredibly happy. But instead of listening to my favorite bands and truly living in the moment, I had spent this once-in-a-lifetime day trying to get the perfect videos and pictures that I could post so that everyone would know just how much fun I was having… How ironic is that?

I had a few candid conversations with some of my friends. They told me about some similar experiences that they had had with social media. We talked about the pressure that can come with it. The feeling of needing to share a photo every time we went somewhere or did something that seemed cool or pretty enough to show off. Without even realizing it, we had been feeling the need to keep up with those around us by showing them – through social media, of course – that our lives are fun and exciting too! And in the process, all the things we’ve always loved to do became just a little less fun… they started to feel a little bit more like a backdrop for the perfect post. I began to understand that a lot of people who use social media feel this way – it’s like an unspoken truth that plenty of people seem to accept as a way of life.

That summer, I realized that I had been living my life confined by the walls of social media and its hardly attainable expectations. Once I realized that, I knew it was time to make a change. I decided to officially break up with social media. I will admit, it was a pretty tough break up at first. I found myself with more free time, quite literally twiddling my thumbs in the absence of a feed to scroll through. I experienced a bit of FOMO, and I felt disconnected from some of my friends. I occasionally even considered reactivating my accounts, but those feelings did not last long.

Here I am three years later, and I have remained social media-free. I truly can’t imagine what it would be like if I had it all back again today. Quitting social media ended up providing me with far more benefits than disadvantages, and it has created drastic improvements in my life, my wellbeing, and my personal relationships. My relationships with my friends have grown stronger because I no longer rely on simply a ‘like’ or a ‘comment’ to express my love and appreciation for them. Not having social media has made it necessary for me to be more intentional with the people I care for, and I am happier for it. Now, I am able to devote the time I once spent scrolling through my feed doing things that matter so much more to me, like spending quality time with the people I care about the most, or appreciating beautiful places and experiences that I would have once been more concerned with capturing in a flattering photograph.

It goes without saying that many people’s apparent love for social media has continued to grow over the years. There are many reasons for the explosion of activity on sites like Instagram in recent years. Social media offers a great amount of benefits for those who choose to use it. It offers the invaluable ability to create and maintain connections with people, whether that be with your family and loved ones or with that musician you met on a plane last year and had a great conversation with. For many people this kind of platform may serve as a unique outlet which may be utilized as a tool for self-exploration and self-expression, a venue where you can learn more about your passions, explore new ones, and get exposure to countless new people, places, and ideas.

I in no way want to undermine the value of any of these benefits. There is an endless variety of ways to utilize something as versatile as social media, and it is absolutely possible to incorporate it into your life in healthy ways. For people who have found success in reaping the benefits of all that social media has to offer, I applaud and support you!

I stopped using social media because it wasn’t benefiting me. There are so many ways to use it, and lots of ways to manage how you do or don’t allow it to influence your mind and your life. Balance is everything. If you find that social media is a positive addition to your life, I hope you will continue to use it in the way that’s best for you! If on the other hand you’ve been feeling like social media is bringing you down, I encourage you to take that first step and make a change – I made it through, and so can you. Do more of what makes you happy! So, take a picture of that sunset, but don’t forget to enjoy it too.

Rachel Mohd