Let’s Talk About Sex

So maybe you didn’t get a good sex education in middle school or high school. Maybe it was taboo in your family to talk about it. Maybe you did talk about it but all that was said was, “don’t do it.” Whether or not we were prepared for sexual intimacy properly or not, at some point we will most likely face the reality of having to figure out how to have safe sex. It might seem easier to ignore the risks and chances of catching an STD or getting pregnant, but this is your body you are talking about. This is your body for the rest of your life. Many of the consequences that come from having unprotected sex aren’t easy to fix. Most of them have life-long consequences and they should be taken seriously. You should not only respect yourself enough to have safe sex, should you choose to have sex, but you should also respect your partner enough to care about their safety as well. In this post, I aim to make you see the importance in knowing your options in terms of birth control and prevention of STDs while at the same time attempt to show you that it is possible to have safe, smart, healthy sex at this stage in our lives as college students.

What makes sex “dangerous?” Mainly when I think of what makes sex dangerous for people our age it brings to mind contracting an STD or, if you are in a heterosexual relationship, an unplanned pregnancy. Both of these situations can have huge consequences for people our age. There are many different types of sexually transmitted infections and diseases and while some of them can be treated and cured, there are also some that, once you contract them, you live with them for the rest of your life. I know it is easy to say that it won’t happen to you, or just to think it is good enough to take someone’s word when they say they are clean, but the consequences of having a disease you live with for the rest of your life and the emotional consequences that come with that greatly outweigh any benefits of the decision to have unsafe sex. It is important to get yourself tested and make sure your partner/s have been tested for STDs as well. Personally, I think that if you are unable to talk with your partner about the health status and implications sex brings, then you may not be ready to have sex with him or her yet. We are told countless times when we are in Sex Ed classes that if we have sex, we WILL get an STD or we WILL get pregnant, whereas that is most definitely a risk, if we are being responsible and healthy in our actions you can lower your risk for these things significantly. The lower risk is worth your time and effort in educating yourself and taking the necessary precautions. Once again, the benefits of having healthy, smart, and safe sex outweigh the time and effort it takes to be safe.

How can you have smart, healthy, safe sex? Step one: Make sure you and your partner are tested for STDs BEFORE you have any type of sex with them. It may seem weird to bring it up, or you may not know how to bring it up at first, just know that if your partner respects you then they will respect that you care enough to ask. If your partner hasn’t been tested, make sure they get tested before you proceed to have sex with them. Step two: If in a heterosexual relationship, before you have sex make sure you have a plan on how you will prevent pregnancy. There are plenty of different options and you can tailor your plan to fit yours needs and comfort level. The important thing is to make sure you have a plan and you stick to it. Check out the link below for a vast amount of information on all the different types of birth control that is available as well as how effective they are in preventing pregnancy. http://www.arhp.org/methodmatch/ It is also worth noting that some methods can be combined to make your efforts in preventing pregnancy more reliable. For example, buy spermicidal lubricated condoms for a back-up if the condom breaks. It still isn’t a 100% effective method but it is more effective than a condom alone. You could also use the pullout method combined with any of the other methods as well. The pullout method alone could be reliable if executed correctly every single time, but that is rarely the case. Instead use the pullout method in combination with the birth control pill, a condom, or another form of birth control. In all reality the only way to completely prevent pregnancy is, of course, to not have sex. You can lower your risk of an unplanned pregnancy with planning and preparation and also making sure your partner respects you enough to think it is just as important as you do to be prepared. Step three: Always make sure you carry out what you intended. Yes, it is easy to get caught up in the moment. That is why you plan ahead and make sure you tell yourself that you will stick to your plan. If your partner has a problem with it, it may be a good time to ask yourself if your partner truly respects you enough anyway. Look at it this way: have enough respect and love for yourself that you can make an effective plan to prevent an STD or pregnancy, while still having great sex, and stick to it because: you are worth it. Step four: Continue to get tested for STDs if you sleep with different partners or if your partner is sleeping with others. If you find out you have an STD, as I said earlier, some can be treated and finding out early is important. It is also important to inform your partner so they can get tested and inform their partners to get tested as well.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, there is always more you can learn about in terms of being safe sexually. This post should guide you in finding more information about how you should go about making your plan to have safe, smart, and healthy sex.

As a disclaimer to all the previous information I think it is important to add that it is vital to not only think of the biological implications of intercourse, but to also think of the emotional implications. Knowing for certain that your partner is ready and that they truly do want to have intercourse, each time, is very important to keeping a safe and respectful environment for both people. It is called consent and it is necessary. Not only that but for many people sex is a very emotional and vulnerable experience and should be shown the consideration it deserves. I think it is important to ask yourself a couple questions before you decide if it is the right time for you to have sex with your partner: -Do you feel ready for sex — physically, mentally, and emotionally? Do you know if your partner feels ready in the same ways? -Are you taking the right precautions for your body and your future? -Do you trust your partner and feel comfortable and respected? -What are your expectations and what are your partner’s expectations? What are your expectations for your relationship with this person?

Whether you are choosing to have sex in your committed serious relationship, take part in casual sex, or are choosing to be abstinent this information could help you at some point in your life and it is important to be educated on the topic so that ignorance of the information doesn’t leave you with negative consequences for the rest of your life.

-Alex