It’s Okay Not to be Okay

My alarm goes off in the morning and my eyes stay shut. It’s not time yet. I can’t do it. Can I just stay here for a few more minutes? A few more hours? Is there anything I can get away with skipping today? The answer to all my questions comes flooding at me with a to-do list attached and a resounding no. I have to do the impossible today, just like I did yesterday and like I will do tomorrow.

For people suffering with anxiety or depression, getting out of bed is a victory. Getting dressed and leaving the front door is another. Facing the world and making it through the day in one piece? That’s the championship title of victories. When you don’t feel like yourself, and when the world feels like a weight on your chest, it’s hard to keep up with the ever-changing rapid pace of everyday life. When you’re in college, it’s almost impossible. With jobs and grades and relationships to maintain, taking a minute to just fall apart and recollect your thoughts is pretty difficult. There simply isn’t time. So what’s the solution? Well it can’t be just “getting over it” or just squashing it for now to deal with later. We all know those methods don’t work, and can actually even make things worse.

So what does work? First and foremost, acceptance. Allowing yourself to admit that you’re not okay is such an important step in taking your life back. This step is the most crucial, and ironically enough, the most difficult to achieve. Although they are improving, there are still so many stigmas surrounding mental health. People aren’t sure how to talk about depression or anxiety and tend to avoid those suffering from them like they’re a wounded animal or a broken toy. Naturally, when people expect this treatment, they pretend to be fine and just keep pushing their feelings farther and farther down. Unfortunately, as most can testify, feelings that we repress only come back stronger than ever and with a vengeance. So in order to avoid this problem, taking that first leap of faith and admitting a problem can actually be your first step to recovery. No matter what you’re feeling, whether it be stressed or anxious, depressed, tired or homesick; allow yourself at least that day to just feel what you’re feeling without trying to change it.

Secondly, never compare your progress to someone else’s. Our lives are all completely different, as are our capacities for pain and healing. Your worst day may be someone else’s best, or vice versa. But pain is pain. Look at your own capabilities and give yourself credit for victories as you achieve them, no matter how small. Like getting out of bed. It might not seem to be a big deal in comparison with someone who ran a marathon or got a huge promotion, but for you, today, it’s the biggest deal you can imagine. Let it be a big deal.

Third, plan ahead. What many people struggle most with when they’re depressed is finding a reason to do things, a motivation to carry on. Things seem exhausting or pointless. But what could be more motivating than things we like? Finding a small thing to look forward to, like a cup of coffee in the morning or a 20-minute nap before your last class, can get you through the day. Think of it as a checkpoint. When you make it to that first thing you’re looking forward to, no matter how small, you can stop and relax. Use it to fuel you and carry on to the next checkpoint, which might be much needed alone time at the end of the day with your favorite show or even dinner with a friend. Before you know it, you’ve reached all your checkpoints and made it through the day. Congratulations. You did the impossible.

You’re stronger than you think. Stronger than the depression, and stronger than the anxiety. Accept, never compare, and plan ahead.

And finally, as the wise and omniscient Snoopy says, “Keep looking up.. That’s the secret to life.”

– Victoria B.