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FOMO: The feeling that there’s something fun or important going on and you’re not there to see it or experience it.
It’s finally the weekend! There are so many fun things going on both on-campus and off-campus! Your friends are making plans, you heard about some event going on tonight, there are just so many things to do!
But you’re sick. Or you have a ton of homework. Or you’re just really drained from this week and time by yourself is a necessity. Whatever the reason, you can’t go to some of the fun events or participate in the plans that your friends have. Also, even if you can go to some of these things, you can’t go to every single one. There’s going to be at least one event that you can’t go to.
“Joy comes to us in moments–ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” -Brené Brown
And this is okay! Or it would be okay, but you start to experience serious FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out. This is a very real feeling and is common among college students. I can’t tell you how often I hear people say that they’re experiencing FOMO, or that they “just have to” go to this one event, because what if they miss out on something really cool? It’s not a nice feeling, yet we’ve all felt it, and some of us even recognize that it’s a problem.
Nobody likes feeling left out, but it happens so often to many people. Most of us feel that way when we’re doing homework in our dorms, but the rest of your study group are all going out for ice cream. Or when we have class while our friends decided to go on an adventure to Atlanta or even just out to lunch. Then there are times when there are events going on on-campus but you’ve either got a test the next day or all of your friends went home for the weekend and you don’t want to go by yourself.
Most people experience FOMO, yet don’t see it as a problem, just as a thing that happens. However, FOMO can harm your mental health by affecting your self-esteem, stress, and life satisfaction in general. As much as you want to be happy for people, it’s hard to not be envious or feel bad about ourselves when you see other people hanging out without you. It can also affect you physically too, from fatigue and problems sleeping to an increase in unhealthy behaviors, such as texting and driving. You can’t miss this one text, because what if it’s about an important event or what if someone is inviting you to hang out, but you’re too busy driving? And why go to bed early when you could stay up late to study AND go to that one event AND hang out with a friend?
Missing out on something doesn’t sound fun, but neither do these harmful effects of FOMO. How do we prevent these negative effects, or how do we prevent FOMO itself?
“That fear of missing out on things makes you miss out on everything.” -Etty Hillesum
One of the main things that affects FOMO is social media. Scrolling through your feed and seeing everyone showing off the best parts of their lives, as seen on their posts anyways, can make us feel bad when we are not doing something special or productive in that moment too. Which, to be fair, none of us are doing something special or productive 24/7. One of the ideal solutions then, would be to stop using social media altogether. However, that’s not realistic for most of us. Instead, you could maybe use it less, or at least remind yourself that people only post the happy and exciting parts of their lives. Very rarely do we see the bad or boring parts, so it’s okay if you’re not doing something amazing 24/7, because they aren’t either.
Keeping a journal can also help us to write about our best memories without seeking validation or approval from others, and can therefore make our memories more enjoyable. We don’t have to feel the same pressure to hype up our lives and make it more exciting as we do on social media, or even just when we talk to our friends. It’s easier to be more real and to appreciate what actually happened when we write about our lives when we’re the only ones that are going to read them. Not only that, but we can also make real connections with people in our lives, especially if we feel lonely. Going out to every event often is not the best place to form deep and healthy friendships with people. Sometimes staying in and watching a movie with your friends is the best way to get to know them and to get rid of that loneliness part of FOMO.
“FOMO (fear of missing out) is the enemy of valuing your own time.” -Andrew Yang
One of the best, but not easiest, ways to help against FOMO is to focus on the good things happening around you right now, instead of focusing on what’s going on somewhere else. You could be missing a special moment, a reason to be proud of yourself, or some genuine connections with those around you because you aren’t bothering to look at, or appreciate, your environment and actions here and now.
I hope this helps someone with their feelings of FOMO, because I know how badly that can feel. Good luck with your semesters, and have fun with whatever you do and wherever you are! 🙂
-Haley Stafford 🙂
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