Finding Freedom in Feelings

We are so quick to tell ourselves to be strong. To stop crying. To get it together. Society tells us that being emotional is a sign of weakness. We value thinking over feeling. We build walls to protect ourselves from expressing sadness, fear, anger, uncertainty, and grief.

Why is it so scary to let people see our brokenness? Why is it a shameful thing to let people see us cry? Why are we expected to say we are “fine” when everything inside us screams the opposite?

One of the most beautiful things about being human is the complexity of our emotions. We are living to the fullest when we embrace our humanity and give ourselves permission to feel the deepest of emotions, even the negative ones. We can find freedom when we openly express how feel and break down the walls that hide who we truly are.

With all the pressure we feel to make sure that people see us as strong and able to handle ourselves, it isn’t easy to express negative emotions. Sometimes it’s easier to withdrawal, isolate ourselves, and live in denial than it is to embrace sadness and hurt. But research has shown that suppressing emotions causes significant stress, including high blood pressure, risk of heart disease, weakened immune system, poor memory, and unhealthy relationship patterns. (PsychologyToday.com). People who avoid emotions are more likely to experience anxiety and depression in their lifetime.

So what are some healthy ways to cope with negative emotions?

1. Realize that your emotions are neither “right” nor “wrong.” They just are. Accept whatever emotion you are feeling and don’t try to convince yourself that you should feel differently.

2. Be honest. Let go of the pressure to always appear strong. Everyone experiences emotional ups and downs, and you are never alone in what you’re feeling. Not only will being open and honest about your feelings benefit you, but it will help you connect with others and encourage vulnerability in your relationships.

3. Don’t always run from negative emotions. When we numb sadness and pain, we also numb joy and happiness. Fully experiencing negative emotions allows us to truly feel positive ones.

4. Practice control over what you do with your emotions. We all have a desire to be in control. But instead of trying to control what you feel, you can control what you DO with those feelings.

Your emotions are not a sign of weakness. Break down the walls that prevent you from sharing your heart. In the words of Washington Irving, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”