Speaking the Language of Love

People express their love to others in very different ways. However, these ways can be boiled down to five different categories. They are the foundations for every type of relationship. These five ways communicate how your friend, mom, brother, significant other, and coworker all want to receive love and give love. It’s so important to know what category you fall under and the language of those you care about. Although you have one main love language, you can have express your love in these other ways as well.

The categories are:

• Words of Affirmation

• Acts of Services

• Receiving Gifts

• Quality Time

• Physical Touch

Words of Affirmation:

If someone has a love language of words of affirmation, they have a need for verbal encouragement. By uplifting them, they feel more loved and valued in the relationship. This means taking time to notice the little things they do or what good things you see in them. This person may also take verbal degradations more personally.

Some examples of affirmation: “Thank you for doing…” “You are really good at …” “I love when you do…” “I appreciate it when you …”

Acts of Service:

For this person, actions definitely speak louder than words. A person who receives love through acts of service want you to show your love by helping out with things. For example, this could be helping do laundry or clean the kitchen. It could be going to get gas or help them buy groceries during a busy week. By serving them, you speak volumes to how much you love and appreciate them.

Receiving Gifts:

When a person cares for another person, then they will be more likely to give that person a present. However, for certain people being on the receiving end of gifts shows how much you love them more than any other way will. This includes presents for big events as well as on random days. The thought put behind the gift is many times more important than the monetary value of the gift.

Quality Time:

This means a person shows love by giving you completely undivided attention for a period of time. Don’t have anything that could distract you, such as the TV on or looking at your phone. Quality time does not necessarily have to be a long period of time. Twenty minutes of completely devoted time is a lot better than an hour of distracted time.

Physical Touch:

A person who has the love language of physical touch feels the most loved when they are being shown affection. This can be very different depending on the type of relationship. For example, in a friendship this can be a hug or a pat on the back. In intimate relationships, this can range from holding hands to making out, even having sex.

What do you see most in yourself? What do you see in those who are the most important in your life?

Just because your partner or friend has a certain love language, does not mean that you should only focus on that specific love language. It is important to show all of them, but their primary love language is the one that means the most to them. The addition of the other love language adds more depth to the relationship.

The idea of the five love languages comes from counselor Dr. Gary Chapman. Below is his website for the five love languages where you can take a 10-15 minute quiz to find out what your love language is. It is many times used for romantic relationships, but can be important for others in your life as well.

www.5lovelanguages.com

Sincerely,

Madison